Today was our big lining check/blood work appointment to see if I was finally able to grow the right kind of lining and keep all my hormones in check. I was super nervous for this appointment as so much still hung in the balance… Did my body respond the way it was supposed to? Is my lining going to be thick enough? Will I have the ever so sought after tri-laminar lining? Would my ovaries still be huge? What if my hormones come back as being too high or too low??
Thankfully Jason was able to join me on this appointment. It means the world to me that he understands how important all of this is, and he wants to be a part of everything as much as he possibly can. Having the support of your spouse during these trying times truly is a blessing.
We started our appointment by filling out our Frozen Embryo Transfer Consent paperwork which made me feel like things were going in the right direction. Dr. Z came in to do our ultrasound and I almost couldn’t look at the screen. I was laying there with all of my fingers crossed hoping to hear the magical words “tri-laminar” lining. What is a tri-laminar lining you might be asking. Don’t worry I was asking the same thing until I found it in my FET daily research ritual. (I have a real passion for researching the heck out of things until theres nearly nothing left to know!).
Tri-laminar simply means a uterine lining which appears to have three parallel lines when on the ultrasound screen. It tends to be a good indicator of a healthy lining. Mine ended up being somewheres around 8.1 mm which is great! They need it to be typically above a 7, and my clinic prefers it to be above an 8 for ideal transfer conditions. I breathed the biggest sigh of relief when I heard her say it was looking good! Truly it is the little things in life at this point. Who would have thought I would be over the moon ecstatic to hear how thick my uterine lining was!
Up next was a mini consult with one of the nurses to ensure I knew what meds to be taking and when. I was glad to finally be offered an in person consult. As I have mentioned before, this cycle has been way too ‘hands off’ for me as far as communication between the clinic and my care was concerned. I was able to ask the nurse some questions and point out several errors on my original FET Calendar which had led to some serious confusion at the start of my cycle. I’m glad I asked for the consult because I had originally thought I was supposed to be taking the progesterone injections every other day (as it said on the calendar) but the nurse clarified it was a mistake and they need to be taken daily! Once again… ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE!
Advocating for myself gives me lots of anxiety, I don’t like to be the person who ‘stirs the pot’ but, if there is anything this process has taught me, its that if you don’t ask you will cause yourself significantly more unnecessary stress and potentially negative outcomes. It doesn’t hurt to clarify everything whenever you are given the opportunity. As much as we all like to think we are IVF experts, the truth is we haven’t been to medical school, we might be misinterpreting something, and clarification is key.
Lastly, I made a quick stop to do my blood work with my favorite nurse who is always able to find my sneaky tiny little veins! She actually has made a mental road map of my arm and uses my tattoos as guidance so she gets it right on the first try, every time! This is greatly appreciated as it takes most people several attempts to finally find a successful vein. With all the poking, prodding and stabbing that goes into IVF, nobody wants to add any additional pricks into the mix.
Up next was the hard part… the waiting, and waiting and more waiting for a phone call to see if we were good to go, or if there was another upset in the making. Of course to keep things exciting I did receive a call from the clinic but it was in regards to our legal battle woes, not the news I was hoping for. Needless to say that phone call spiked my anxiety, but I was able to contain it knowing that I would likely have my answer about our FET before the night was through. Of course the call came through right as I was trying to check out at Michaels crafts and using a coupon on my phone! I let it go to voicemail which is actually my preferred method of dealing with this stuff anyways. That way I can re-play the message as much as I need to make sure I understand the directions and what not.
This voicemail was probably the second best one of my life. The first being when we were approved for our initial IVF cycle through our insurance. This one went something like this “Hi Joy, its nurse Karen! We have the green light to move forward with your FET. You are scheduled for February 28th at 11 a.m.” Lets just pause that for a second… Finally some good news!!! We have the green light to start up progesterone oil, endometrin inserts, medrol, and doxycyline! Houston we are heading for an embryo transfer!! There is so much excitement in finally hearing that we will be able to transfer one of our precious snowflake babies into my now warm and inviting uterus! Hahaha it is truly entertaining how exciting it is to talk about warm uteruses and blood work etc! The joy’s of infertility… gotta find humor somewhere!
In thinking about next week and our big transfer day, it’s kind of hard to imagine what this all might mean. On one hand, there’s still tons of what it’s. We don’t know how well our embryos will thaw, we don’t know if they are genetically normal or not, heck we don’t know if my body will implant it successfully or not. But what we do know is that theres a chance.. there is a chance that this time next week I could be PUPO (Pregnant Unless Proven Otherwise)!! PREGNANT! I truly struggle to contain my excitement when I think about that possibility. While I want to remain cautious to protect my heart in case things don’t go well. I can’t help but be hopeful that this will be our big day, the one that finally works, the start of our success story to be able to tell all our friends, family and eventually to share with our little one. The story of how they came to be and the journey we took to get there.
It all starts with a dream, a hope, and a wish… Until next time, may god bless you and yours with lots of love, luck and baby dust!