First of all, welcome!!
A little bit about myself, my husband, and our little growing family. My name is Joy and I live in Massachusetts with my lovely husband Jason and our two adorable golden retriever pups, Maverick and Parker!
Let’s take it way back to the very, very, beginning. Jason and I met very unexpectedly one fateful night at a mutual friends ‘going away’ party. When we first met I was less than enthused by Jason, and after buying me a beer, we went our separate ways never thinking twice about it. Low and behold some higher power had a bigger plan for us because we both ended up back at the same house party much later on that evening. Jason ended up offering me a ride home, which I desperately needed as my friends had abandoned me and I had no way home. He asked to take me on a date the following day to a bruins game and happily obliged. Anywhoo, the next day came and I quickly realized I didn’t even know his name! I spent most of the date trying to cleverly figure out his name without admitting I didn’t recall it. At some point a few girls walked by us at the game and one called him ‘Jason’ the other called him ‘Jay’, thinking this was my lucky break I said ‘well which one do you like to be called’ and he flat out blew up my spot saying “you don’t even know my name do you?”. The rest is pretty much history. We got married in July of 2016 and have been trying to start our little family ever since.
I would say our fertility journey started following getting married but that just wouldn’t cover the half of it so I will start where it truly begins and that is way before Jason and I ever met, in fact it starts before I was even born. My mother had significant difficulty getting and staying pregnant. She calls me her ‘christmas miracle’ as I was born on christmas day and am her only child. My whole life my mother placed the fear in me that I would have trouble getting pregnant. Her comments where never intentional, just more or less factual regarding how challenging it was for her to have me. Needless to say this scared me terribly! I guess you could say I always had a fear in the back of my mind that one day I would end up like my mother and struggle to have a family of my own.
Unfortunately, that fear has become a reality, but rather than dwelling on all the negatives, I have made a conscious decision to view this uncertain journey as one of life’s many ‘adventures’ that can only help me to grow to be a better person, friend, wife and most of all a better mother. They say women who go through the process of infertility become mother’s long before they ever become pregnant and I belive that is true. I have actively made decisions, life changes and difficult choices to become a mother. My only hope is that it will happen sooner rather than later. I can say I have become significantly more compassionate towards others and the unknown journeys and struggles they may be going through. Infertility is such a private struggle it has helped me to realize that just as no one knows what I am going through (unless I have shared with them of course), I have no way of knowing what others may be battling with on a regular basis.
This newly found compassion has extended into my career as well. I am an Elementary School Psychologist by trade. I have always been compassionate towards children, but battling infertility with all of the ups and downs and unknowns has made me significantly more compassionate towards families who are battling the unknowns of IEP’s, 504’s and more all while trying to simply provide whatever their child needs to succeed. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and my journey now is preparing me to be the best version of myself I can be. Sometimes the best lessons in life are learned the hard way. Infertility can be seen as a completely negative disease, or you can view it as an opportunity to challenge yourself, your marriage, your friendships and come out the other side stronger in every single way.
My biggest goal in life has always been to become a mother. It’s the only thing I have ever truly been driven to do. The one ‘calling’ I have consistently had that I just ‘knew’ was a non-negotiable. It’s hard to sit here and type that knowing that as of right now I’m nearing 3 years of trying to become a mother unsuccessfully. I know God does have a plan for me, and it will all work out how it is supposed to, but that doesn’t fully take away the painful sting of infertility. If you are reading this now, you are not alone. Together we can support one another in this crazy journey called life. No one is immune to challenges and turmoil in life, its what you choose to do with it that makes you who you are. I choose to face this head on, with all the courage and determination I can muster up!! Here’s to making the most of this uncertain adventure!